Un-Abducted, a Short Film

Estimated length: 8 minutes

INT. ATHRU-TU CONFERENCE ROOM – NIGHT

We’re in the comfortable but functional conference room of an ADVANCED SPACESHIP. Three ROSWELLIAN ALIENS (the ATHRU-TU) sit behind a space-age conference table. 

The conference room door slides open with a hiss, and MOIRA, 30, an unexceptional human strapped to a hospital gurney, is rolled into the conference room by two more ALIENS who monitor her vitals with advanced-looking equipment. MOIRA is friendly and accommodating, but maybe a little nervous.

MOIRA
Hey Johha! Hey Hifna! Sorry I was late. Ged-Plop over here scanned my frontal lobe on the Transfigurational Indicator. Who knew human brains looked like that from the inside?

JOHHA – 45 light-cycles, insecure but kind – is the ATHRU-TU seated on the right. He fiddles with a pencil and won’t make eye contact – a real feat considering his three eyes. HIFNA – 23 light-cycles, a bit of a soft touch – is seated on the left, and has the twitchy, sad look of someone trying to make the best out of a bad situation. The centre ATHRU-TU – PLORFF, 32 light-cycles, dignified – stands up for both of them.

PLORFF
I know we were never introduced, but I’m PLORFF. I’m the Senior Director of this project.

MOIRA
Pleasure to meet you! I’d shake your hand, but —
(shrugs good-naturedly within her restraints)

PLORFF
Great, that’s great. Look, we have to tell you right off the bat, this isn’t the good kind of meeting.

MOIRA
…what?

PLORFF
I’m very sorry, but this is the end of your inclusion in this project. Nobody likes having to make this kind of decision. Please understand it’s not personal.

MOIRA sags against her restraints, devastated.

MOIRA
Not personal?

PLORFF
When we first acquired you, our project had a specific set of needs, but as we head into the long-term, our needs have changed.

MOIRA
But I’ve only been here two months. Was there something wrong with my brain scans? With the blood samples? Didn’t I give good readings?

PLORFF
It has more to do with the scope and limitations of the project.

HIFFNA
(helpfully)
We’ll keep your biological scans on file in case we have another opening. 

MOIRA
But–

CUT TO:

EXT. ALBERTA PRAIRIE – NIGHT – IMMEDIATELY AFTER

The glowing, circular UFO comes to rest about 20 feet above a stretch of empty Alberta prairie. A hatch in the bottom irises open and MOIRA tumbles, screaming, out of it. She lands hard in a cloud of dust as the spaceship zooms away into the night.

MOIRA
Is that it? REALLY?

She looks up, but the sky is empty.

INT. UNDERGROUND GOVERNMENT FACILITY – SOME TIME LATER

Two GOVERNMENT AGENTS in hazmat suits hose MOIRA down with decontaminant fluid. 

MOIRA
I wasn’t expecting to get abducted, you know? I know what the odds are like. Especially the odds of staying with them forever. But I guess I let myself imagine it.

GOVERNMENT AGENT #1
(sympathetic)
That’s a rough deal.

MOIRA
What kind of alien abducts a human and then dumps her after two months? How does that help their overhead?

GOVERNMENT AGENT #2
Turn around, ma’am. We need to get your back.

MOIRA
Oh, sure. Of course.

INT. UNDERGROUND GOVERNMENT FACILITY – MEDICAL WING – AN HOUR LATER

MOIRA sits in a hospital bed, plugged into an IV, while a GOVERNMENT DOCTOR – 55, disinterested, a medical practitioner who’s seen it all – assesses her vital signs. The two GOVERNMENT AGENTS wait by the door.

MOIRA
They said it wasn’t personal.

GOVERNMENT DOCTOR
Uh-huh.

MOIRA
But how can it not be personal? They chose ME in order to study the human race, after hovering above our atmosphere for God knows how long…

The two GOVERNMENT AGENTS leap into action, whipping out notebooks and pens.

GOVERNMENT AGENT #1
Over our atmosphere?

GOVERNMENT AGENT #2
How long? Months? Years?

MOIRA
(not paying attention)
A while, I guess. That’s not important. What matters is they spent all this time getting to know us, but they couldn’t wait to get rid of me.

The GOVERNMENT AGENTS back off, disinterested

GOVERNMENT DOCTOR
Open up.

MOIRA
(complying)
Aaaaaaahhh…

GOVERNMENT DOCTOR checks MOIRA’S mouth and throat. The moment her hands leave MOIRA’S face she starts right back up again.

MOIRA
I can’t imagine what I did that could have turned them off the whole human race. 

GOVERNMENT DOCTOR
You didn’t hear? Some farmer got picked up not two days ago. Broad daylight. Left one mess of a crop circle behind.

The GOVERNMENT DOCTOR starts prepping one mother of a big needle, but MOIRA is too upset to notice.

MOIRA
Why the hell did they need a farmer? They had me! That big tractor beam they use isn’t cheap! Do you know how much energy that thing uses?

The two GOVERNMENT AGENTS perk up again.

GOVERNMENT AGENT #1
How much energy did it use? 

GOVERNMENT AGENT #2
Be specific! We need numbers!

MOIRA
(has no idea)
In, like, kilojoules? Gigawatts? Uh, Edisons? A lot. It took a lot of energy, let’s just say that. The kind of energy you don’t throw around on just anyone.

The GOVERNMENT AGENTS slink away, disgusted.

MOIRA
(continued)
This proves it was personal. They’d rather drain their Sirundian gas-sphere than keep me on their ship.

GOVERNMENT AGENT #1
Drain the what-now?

GOVERNMENT AGENT #2
(to #1)
Not worth it, dude.

MOIRA
C’mon, I spent most of my time in their laser-probing theatre. I didn’t get out much. And did I ever complain? No. I don’t see why they couldn’t at least tell me —

The GOVERNMENT DOCTOR takes advantage of MOIRA’s distraction to inject her with One Mother of a Needle.

MOIRA
JESUS CHRIST!

EXT. KRISTIE’S KRAFTS – THE NEXT DAY

The aboveground front for the underground government facility is disguised as a run-down big-box crafting store, the kind of place where unfinished cross-stitch packages go to die. The two GOVERNMENT AGENTS lead MOIRA across a deserted parking lot toward a town car. They shove paperwork into Moira’s arms as they walk.

GOVERNMENT AGENT #1
Sign here, here, and here.

GOVERNMENT AGENT #2
This as well. And this. This confirms that we don’t exist, we never met, this never happened, and you officially spent the last two months on vacation in Hawaii.

GOVERNMENT AGENT #1
You loved it.

They reach the town car.

MOIRA
But what am I supposed to do now? After all this? Am I just supposed to forget the Athru-tu and the time we spent together? How can the rest of my life ever match up to that? How can I apply for jobs, or go to a movie, or get a boyfriend knowing there’s no laser probe waiting for me at the end of the day?

GOVERNMENT AGENT #1
Do you want my honest opinion?

MOIRA
Sure.

GOVERNMENT AGENT #1
They screwed you over. It sounds like they didn’t care about you at all. You’re better off without them. 

MOIRA
That can’t be true. Maybe Plorff didn’t care. But I made other amazing friends up there, and I learned so many new things. I was happy, and I’ll always have those memories. 

GOVERNMENT AGENT #2
(interjecting)
Not officially!

MOIRA
(continued)
If I had to choose between knowing the Athru-tu for only two months versus never knowing them at all, I’d choose the former every time. I guess that’s what matters. Besides, now I know my true life’s calling.

GOVERNMENT AGENT #1
And what’s that?

MOIRA smiles.

CUT TO:

EXT. ALBERTA PRAIRIE – NIGHT – A FEW WEEKS LATER

The wide expanse of grass and dust is empty. Far off the beaten path. No streetlights. MOIRA sits on the hood of her car staring into the sky while holding a piece of radar equipment. A wheeled suitcase sits beside her. Suddenly, the equipment starts beeping frantically.

MOIRA
(excited)
It’s happening!

About a hundred feet away, a cylindrical SPACESHIP materializes out of the sky as its stealth shield ebbs away. It doesn’t belong to the Athru-tu, but MOIRA doesn’t care. She’s found her calling.

MOIRA
Hey! Hey, wait!

She grabs her suitcase and a large flashlight and dashes towards the alien craft. She waves her flashlight back and forth like a beacon.

MOIRA
If I could have a moment of your time! My name is Moira Murphy! I have two months’ abduction experience and I come with excellent medical references! I think I could be a great specimen for your research project! Give me a chance!

After a moment’s pause, the alien craft shoots out an answering tractor beam.

END






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